30 Things That Don’t Matter At The Poker Table

Players act as if many things matter at the poker table. Most don’t matter at all. 12 do. Let me help you sort them out. First, here’s my list of everything I can think of that some players think is important but that isn’t.

1. Who can act most quickly.
Don’t worry whether you need a few second to make up your mind. Just take the same time before each action so you don’t give away your close calls.

2. Who can sit at the table the longest.
Sleep deprivation is no virtue. Personal cleanliness is no vice.

3. Who has the worst luck.
No one cares if you’re unlucky. But if you seem to care, good players may try to play more aggressively against you – something you don’t want. So keep your whining to yourself.

4. Who is the friendliest with the dealer.
Some players love to chat up the dealer. They think it’s impressive to be seen as an insider. It isn’t. No one cares but you.

5. Who has been the forced bet (in stud) the most.
See comment number 3.

6. Who has the coolest sunglasses.
Impressing people with your style, grace, and fashion only matters if you’re looking for modeling contracts or television deals. You’re not are you?

7. Who has the most impressive poker logo wear.
See above.

8. Who has suffered the biggest loss.
Your spouse may care, but no one else. See comment number 3.

9. Who has suffered the worst bad beat.
Boo hoo. Shut up.

10. Who is thought of by his peers as the best player.
I’d make only a slight exception for poker writers and professionals trying to get merchandising contracts.

11. Who can do the best chip tricks.
See above – and delete “writers”

12. Who is the cleverest.
The sharpest tongue cannot add or delete spots on a playing card.

13. Who has played in the biggest game.
The only game that matters is the one you’re in. If you’re good enough to beat a bigger game then join it.

14. Who has the best one-line put-downs.
See comment 12.

15. Who is right.
It only matters if your play is right. And even then, it should only matter to you.

16. Who argues best.
Can you talk another player out of a winning hand?

17. Who’s played in the most rooms.
This may be interesting but it is irrelevant. What’s important is the room you’re in at the moment.

18. Who knows the most celebrity players.
Can you beat the guys you’re against now? That’s what counts.

19. Who made the best lay down.
Use your skills, don’t show them off.

20. Who is the most observant.
You spotted that someone hit a one outer on the river? You knew they were drawing to the flush? Why let people in on it?

21. Who is the smartest.
The only grade that counts is the one you get by cashing in more than you brought.

22. Who is the toughest.
It’s always better to measure your manhood in private.

23. Who has read the most poker books.
What’s important is what you learned, not what you read. You show what you’ve learned by how you play.

24. Who played the hand incorrectly.
Let your opponents draw their own conclusions so they can make the same mistakes.

25. Who played the hand correctly and lost.
Boo hoo. No one cares.

26. How many times in a row someone has rivered you.
See above.

27. Whether or not you folded a good hand.
Why let others know you can be bullied?

28. That you would have won the hand had you not folded.
If pigs had fins they could swim.

29. What you folded.
Why let anyone have a free peak inside your brain.

30. What your opinion is.
Opinions are like …

And here’s my list of questions that some people don’t think about but that are very important.

  1. Are you playing your best game?
  2. Can you beat the game?
  3. Is there a better game?
  4. Are you learning?
  5. What is your opponent likely to have?
  6. What is the size of the pot?
  7. How many outs do you have?
  8. How do you exploit the image that other players have of you?
  9. What is the best way to play this hand?
  10. Is there a better seat at the table?
  11. (In a private game) How can I make sure to get invited back?
  12. (In a stud game) What were the folded cards?

As you can see from the first list of things that aren’t important, ego doesn’t matter. Don’t let it get in the way of your brain. Too often players do, focusing more on how they look than on whether they are playing well. They call because they think it won’t look good to fold. They don’t ask for a seat change because they don’t want to draw attention to themselves. Etcetera.

I have found that the best way to insure that I am focusing on the proper stuff at the table is to take regular breaks for introspection. I have learned to be my own best judge – so I can ignore the quips and thoughts of my opponents. I treat their reaction to my play only as something to exploit. I don’t care if they think me a bad player – except to the extent that I can use their impression to my advantage.